It’s Not All Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows

It’s my birthday, I can cry if I want to

Someone from Peace Corps once told me, “If you have a great day, write about it on your blog.  If you have a bad day, write about it in your journal.”  That’s a nice rule, but then my blog will be misrepresenting my experience here.  Does every class go great?  Am I happy every day?  Do projects always go smoothly?  Does the garden always grow?  No, no, no.

Today marks one year since we arrived in Nicaragua.  No matter what we’ve done in this first year, it’s an accomplishment in itself that we’ve made it this far.  Some others who started out in our training group with us a year ago today didn’t make it to the one year mark; whether for personal, medical, or family reasons they had to make the difficult decision to head back home and not finish their service.  Just making it one year is an accomplishment.

Yesterday was my birthday.  I had a great morning at work at my rural school.  The students sang me songs and we had a little dance party.  It was impromptu and heartfelt, and the kids and I really enjoyed it.  Then I came home from class.

I’ve found that when I have too much time alone, to much time to think, that’s when it’s the toughest.  I start to think about the fact that I’m 25 and still haven’t started my career, I think about my friends at home and all of the things I’m missing out on, I think about how I would be celebrating my birthday if I was there instead of here.  You don’t know boredom until you’ve been in the Peace Corps.  In the last year, and in my time in Honduras, that’s one thing I’ve definitely learned—how to be bored and be okay with it, to embrace it and not let it overwhelm me.  Yesterday afternoon I was bored.  And it was my birthday.  And I was sad.  And pretty homesick.

What was I expecting?  I don’t really know.  My host family here hasn’t ever done anything big to celebrate people’s birthdays.  It was just a regular afternoon.  I washed all my clothes, stopped by the school to plan with one of my teachers, watched some Netflix, and spent some time feeling sorry for myself.

If there’s anything that has made me grow over the past year, it’s my ability to pick myself up after days like yesterday.  To acknowledge “yeah, that was rough.”  And then remind myself, “and now it’s over.”  Peace Corps service is a rollercoaster. 

My parents sent me a calendar in the mail, and I use it to write down important things that I have going on, but even more importantly, at the end of each day, I take a Sharpie and put a big X through the day that is ending.  At first I thought that this was a bad tradition for me to have, that it seemed too much like I was counting down the days until my service is over.  But then I realized how therapeutic it is sometimes, after a hard day, to put that big X through the date and remember that I’m moving forward and that it’s time to put that day behind me and look ahead to the next one.  Maybe the kids were wild in class and I got frustrated, maybe I felt unproductive and sat and watched movies all day, maybe I worked hard on a lesson and then ended up not having class, maybe it’s rained all day and my clothes didn’t dry…but no matter what happened, I still get to put that big X through the date and it’s done, over, finished.

Happy 1 year in country, Nica 60.  We’ve made it this far, and we’ll make it the next year and three months too.  Birthdays and anniversaries are a great opportunity to look back at the good and the bad of the past year.  To remember how we’ve grown and changed and think about the year to come.  I’ve learned, experienced, and grown so much, and things are always looking up!  Like I said, Peace Corps service is a rollercoaster, and even after the lowest moments, there's always something to look forward to...things always start getting better.  My birthday wasn't the best of days, but I'm leaving tomorrow to Leon with my Nica 60 friends to celebrate 1 year in-country.  And then Luis finishes his volunteer program and I'm going away with him next weekend.  It always gets better!

In Managua.

Before you read this post, please watch this absolutely ridiculous music video...

I've been spending a lot of time in Managua over the past three weeks, which also means that I've been spending very little time in my site/at my schools. 

A couple of weeks ago, I got a phone call from Felix, the new tech trainer for the environment project (although new to our project, Felix is not new to Peace Corps, he used to work for the agriculture project) asking me if I'd be willing to give a charla (training session) to the newest group of volunteers, Nica 62, who arrived in mid-August.  I had been chosen by my supervisors to give the charlas about school gardens, along with Patrick, another volunteer from my group.  It was cool to be chosen, because that means that they were impressed by the gardens that I've done in my site (which, by the way, were my first-ever gardens that I've ever made).  Most volunteers who give charlas to trainees just do one session, however the garden charlas have multiple sessions.  First, a training session on the basic theory behind school gardens (find a flat place, make a fence, make sure to water and weed---we're talking really basic), then a practicum where we make a little sample garden to practice the techniques, and lastly the trainees set up gardens in the schools in their training towns to maintain for their 11 week-long training period.  Add to that list a meeting in Managua beforehand to plan everything and we're looking at a LOT of time spent in Managua.

After a 1 day/1 night trip in to plan everything, Patrick and I returned a week later to give the garden theory charla.  The new group of trainees is much bigger than our group was (20 compared to 13), and they were only a week into their training.  That means that they are still attentive, enthusiastic, excited, nervous, and have a MILLION questions about EVERYTHING.  After giving our charla, Patrick and I answered lots of questions about gardens but also about our work schedules, co-teaching, language learning, and other projects.

Two days later, we helped with the garden practicum.  We divided the trainees into 5 groups of 4 and each group was led by a facilitator.  During the practicum, I let the trainees do most of the work, but helped guide them and explain why we were doing things the way we were.  My group worked hard and we got everything finished before the other groups.  We built a small seedbed, complete with roof for sun and wind protection, planted rows of cucumber and radish, and planted 4 squash plants.

The charla was on a Thursday and the practicum was on a Saturday, so on Sunday I headed back to my site.  However, all of these training sessions also coincided with the time period in which we all have to do our mid-service medical visit (a short talk with the Peace Corps doctors, and a trip to the dentist).  I had scheduled mine for Wednesday, so really I was only in my site from Sunday until Wednesday morning, when I headed back to Managua once again at 5:30 a.m. to be in the office around 9:30. 

Healthy and with no cavities, I spent a few days in Managua before going on Saturday to help the trainees set up gardens in their training town schools.  I was in El Rosario, Carazo helping a group of 4 trainees, Tom, Geri, Claire, and Claire, to set up their garden.  I was extremely impressed with the preparation and planning that they had put in.  They did a name game with the students who came to help, talked about the different tools, and did a good job organizing the students.  I did my best to help them with whatever they needed (which many times was Spanish vocabulary, or helping explain something to a student) but they did an excellent job.  I think every new group has it's own dynamics and personality, and to me this group seems very focused and serious.  Hopefully they'll lighten up a little bit over the next few weeks, because they're definitely going to have to learn to be flexible and roll with the punches-- one of the most important things when being a PCV.

After working the whole morning in the gardens, we headed back to Managua and Felix dropped Patrick and I off at the Holiday Inn to check into the hotel for the Small Business Gala that was happening Saturday night.  It's a fundraising event put on by the small business volunteers in order to raise money for their entrepreneurship competition that they do with high school students every year.  I checked into the hotel, caught up with friends, took a nice hot shower, hung out by the pool, and then in the evening we headed to the gala.  It was a great event with good food, lots of dancing and drinking, and a chance to see lots of volunteers all in the same place. 

Me, Tara, Robi, and Amanda at the gala

Now, I'm back at site and about to have my first full week of work in a long time.  The trips to Managua were a nice break, but I was ready for it to be done.  I got to see almost everyone from my training group, as well as other PCV friends over the past few weeks, and met some volunteers that I didn't know before.  Now it's time to buckle back down and finish out the school year.

Next up on the radar are some more traveling...a trip to Leon next weekend to celebrate 1 year in-country; a trip to the Laguna de Apoyo with Luis, who is finishing up a volunteer program that he's been working with for the past 2 months; and oh yeah....my birthday.